Lost Love

Two years ago I lost my Sister. She was ill. Her fever was persistent and a good medical staff realized that it was not just meet the eyes. Medical check, tests and biopsy pointed to leukemia of the fourth stage. She was drowsy and slept  most of the time. She slipped away peacefully. That was natural and we all will die. Death is not about where and when, young or old, rich or poor, a pauper or with authority - can we escape? No!

However the family of the departed one felt the pain. I missed my Sister and again I was relieved she was freed from the illness that tortured her.

 

SABAH EARTHQUAKE...

Today Singapore is flying the National Flag at half mast in respect to those who perished in the Sabah Earthquake.

Now the Earthquake is moving closer to home. No one expect it will happened in Kota Kinabalu. These time it killed 8 Singaporean - one Teacher, one Guide and the remaining are 12 years-old students from Tajong Katong Primary School.

It is heartbreaking to the school, schoolmates, families and also Singaporean. There is still one teacher and one student missing and we pray for their safe return.

My prayers and thoughts are with the bereaved ones. These are young lives and they are going through a leadership program. They are the leaders of tomorrow but we lost them.

It is not the first time such program are held at Mount Kinabalu which is a favorite of people around the region. Its a nature reserved filled with flora and fauna. Unfortunately this place when boulders are hurled during the 6.1 quake provides no place to hide or avoid the meteor of stones because it is an opened barren area where there are no vegetation.

 



Actually my brother just came back in May from this same trekking. At times it is the timing and various factors that one has to be there at the specific point of time. Whatever, it is still heartbreaking to see the lost of young lives.

Tribute to the MH17 victims...

I am speechless on ignorant people who took ignorant lives. All the fingers pointing is an act which will not bring back the lives of 298 people and the hope of the surviving families. It is human cruelty to another and one have to answer for one's action.

I pray for the perished victims to have a better rebirth....and my

DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO ALL THE SURVIVING FAMILIES!

The Saga goes on....

MH370 has decided not to reappear so easily for tracking. All the efforts are effortless due to the Malaysian government clueless or is it so? There are too many agendas, too eager to close the case that it backfired and thinking it is easy to cover ones mistakes. In this case it is too big an issue to pull spider webs over the global crowd and the passengers surviving loved ones.

Look at this piece of summary, it will show all the information released are so pathetic. It shoots all over the place and reach one destination....which is clueless.

·     ......... MH 370. Q: Apa lagi M..... Mau? A: Apa pun tak tahu -1 MalaySia (useless Malays). Q: Flight destination, Beijing (North). A: Ended in South Indian Ocean (South). Q: Last contact, 1.30am, 2.40am.....? A: 1.07am, 2.14am, finally 8.11am.......... Q: Last signal, South China Sea (East)? A: Straits of Malacca (West). Q: False passports? A: No, false passengers. Q: Who are they? A: African, Asian, finally Iranian. Q: Passengers not boarding? A: Luggages check-in without passengers. Q: Pas...sengers replacement? A: Never heard of replacement. (Only 227 seats ?). Q: Top security measure? A: YES, but too lazy to checks (0.02 sec) intelligent system. Q: Advance radar system? A: Yes, but can't identified plane after 5days. Q: All angles & possibilities? A: Only possibilities is everyone sleeping on the jobs. Q: Having got 26 countries, xx planes, xx ships? A: But MalaySia can't do nothing. Q: Unprecedented incident? A: Unprecedented leader and government. Q: Transparent & consistent ? A: But blind on corruption, cronyism, biases, mismanaged, racism, etc..........

I am not interested in the Malaysian politics. The suppressed speak for themselves. Singapore government also shut up on this matter only recently a minister spoke up for the Malaysian government being harshly criticized. We are gracious and we also understand the plight of the surviving families putting ourselves in their shoes.

In my heart, I believe Captain Zaharie is a professional. There are so many lives in his hand and I do not think he loves Anwar so much that 239 lives have to be used as a paid back for his arrest. The second pilot, young man so what's wrong being friendly with some girls. He is about to marry a nice girl so he has no reason to topple the plane as well. So when these two men are not there to fend for themselves, in the name of Truth, do not scapegoat them.

I really don't know when the Malaysian ministers will get their act together and say the right thing...

1)  The final word from the cockpit before disappearance were "all right, good night" as reported in a press meeting. However now it was said the actual words where "Goodnight, Malaysian Three Seven Zero".

2)  Malaysian authorities do not want to release the cargo list and insisted there is nothing "hazardous", now they said it carried Lithium-ion batteries and now how many of them? 

3)  Australia search as we all see it, even when it started was an excuse to divert attention. We know they will not find anything and we are right.

4)  There were sms picked up by families of missing passengers, why are all these information "hushed". So it gives the families leads that their loved ones are being held hostages by someone, by whom? For what reason? I only pray that they are alive and well.

5)  Malaysia allowed 2 persons holding fake passports to pass through and yet they blame Interpol for having a huge achieve which will take a long time to search. Maybe they should spend some monies to update their systems for security purposes. In a plane we are not travelling with one or two people but hundred to 2 hundreds lives on board, how can "play play" with people's lives.

However Minister Hishammuddindoes holds himself well. He is impressive in giving and updating press conferences but I can see he is also getting tired. I can see it showed on his face and he is trying to hold his patience. So if he blurted "what more do you want?", don't blame him. The pressure is great. Such issue of missing plane cannot be shut up quietly or shaft down the throat with power.

TO me, all search have been diverted away from South China Sea. My feeling that if the plane went down, it is at South China Sea. I pray I am wrong. The search is going further and further and to a dangerous and cold place, South Indian Ocean. This is a place where search is hard and finally...MH370 mysteriously evaporated into thin air.

Update as of 10.6.2014 - MH370 is still missing!

Report missing....

Being a neighbor, I am concern over the missing Malaysian Airlines MH370 which have 200 over passengers  and staff on board.

It is unfortunate that to date nothing is found of the missing plane, no trace and evident of where it is or was. There is the black box, where is it? If it burst in midair, the huge fire would have caught the eyes of some people around. Malaysia said the plane may have turned back...the Captain would have called Control Tower for landing, did he? They said it could be mechanical fault, didn't they check the plane before letting it fly? So all is speculation.

Finding where the missing plane is the top of the list but it has diverted to missing passports and fake travelers. The Minister said all security protocol is in place and how did these two persons made it to the plane? I am amused when he mentioned that the two person is not Asian looking but looked like some footballer...great fan of football. Who is the one who said they look like Asian? It is their own people, so don't they check properly before saying anything? Whatever security issues can wait. It is not a hijack nor a sabotage.

We all puzzled why the experienced Captain did not SOS? Was he taken by surprised or he himself was not aware such distress was happening. The Vietnamese was more diligent, they at least call other airport in search of MH370 when it did not report on time.

Cannot blame the Malaysian Government. Even if you pressed them, they are so clueless. All the press interviews are neither here nor there. I listen to all the news, updates, reports from Malaysia and all these are just like not saying anything at all. I admire that Minster who update the press...there is no urgency in his voice and look, he is pretty cool! He is like saying...."hey! we all also don't know what happened. We don't want to assume but we have to give some news to the public so here I am."

As days passed, we know that the chances of survival is deemed. If the broken plane dropped into the sea, it would have been buried deeper now.

To me, I pray that they find something of the missing plane soon so that the bereaved families can move on.

10 YEARS OF LESLIE CHEUNG ( 十年了，张国荣！)

Ten years has passed by but the memory of Leslie did not fade. There is no new songs from him nor new movies from him - how can there ever be? I may not talk about him but at the back of my mind I knew he existed.

How time flies, people changed, environment changed but some feelings never change. Looking at all Leslie photos still stir my emotion. Hearing him sing all his top song tracks is still so enjoyable and was like yesterday he just sang them. His 演唱会performances was still so good to look at, he was lively, romantic, daring and he never failed to deliver and entertain.

Looking at how Leslie grew through the years as an inexperienced actor to the day he performed in all his acclaimed movies, he had come a long way. There were so many good movies which showcased his skills and commitment to the role but how many times did they give him the 'Movie King' title? People were biased and jealous of him. NO, he do not need the title as to those who loves him but I believe it hurt him a bit. Because he was a celebrity, all his privacy were opened for all to see. People praised him, criticized him, purposely bad named him but his fans love him.

Once again, my tribute to the one and only Leslie Cheung!

When 1st April "风再起时“，I know this wind will "风继续吹"。 It is this season that brought back " 當年情" when we "為你鍾情"。 "儂本多情" "追 "Kor Kor。 When all our emotion became "當愛已成往事", it was heartbreaking。We have to accept "今生今世 " that you decided "沉默是金"。"這些年來" who will share our "想妳"。 Actually we asked "有誰共鳴" and we miss this "不羁的风"。 We remember you belting out "千千闕歌" and the lyrics touched our hearts。 "以後" you have "拒絕再玩" so in this life time we know "只怕不再遇上 ".....so long........

 

Late Mrs Lee Kuan Yew - 1920-2010

Like many Singaporean, the passing of Madam Kwa Geok Choo or better known as Mrs Lee Kuan Yew is a National mourning to all of us. In her I saw a woman of virtue and an example of a good wife, a wonderful mother and a much respected public figure. Behind a successful man is a woman and we see this in the Late Mrs Lee. She was always beside MM Lee, she never come to the front or try to outshine her husband, she silently support and that is what I feel the most remarkable about her. She inspires. I like to pay my respect to this remarkable Lady, may she rest in peace.

For MM Lee, we know that he is hospitalized for chest infection and now with the passing of Late Mrs Lee, we pray that he stays strong for the sake of Singapore. I appreciate all the things that MM had done for Singapore. In such a moment, we can only pray - that the Lee family gathers strength and move forward.

Condolences from me and my family to MM Lee and PM Lee and Family. Thank you for everything you have done for us and many appreciative Singaporean.

Pain...

A few years had passed but I did not forget the pain a friend had experienced. She is no longer around. I know she did not want to leave. She was only 35.






Pain...
was the day we broke up
It was the day I knew I had cancer
and
I was waiting for death
You were like cancer cells
spreading all over me
In every cells and every part of me

Pain...
was nothing that you can imagine
that I had to leave you
and
I am unwilling to do so
can you imagine every cells
experienced pain
when I thought of you ?

Pain...
every second, every minute
I reminded myself
that whatever there was between us
was over
the immense pain made me wish
that I had the courage to
expire immediately

Pain...
because I did not want to be
a burden to you
and
I can only drugged myself with
liquor to numb myself
temporarily
but
only temporally

Pain...
was to leave you with pain
Many years after
when you remember me
Will you still feel the
heart stinging pain?
Maybe
because I am someone of the past

Pain...
to me was 'I only live Once'
and
'I only love once'
Like a rainbow
it was over in seconds
with pain spreading all
over my body like
cancer cells....

There was no past
no present
and no future....

Good-bye!

Memories...(1)

I stopped blogging about my involvement with Hospice for a while now. I realized that one should make hay while the sun shines. We forget that we may not wake up to see the Sun. As much as I attended to 'Out Hospice', I do spent reasonable time with the patients 'In Hospice' too. All these sadly beautiful people taught me in their own way about Love, Life, Living and Appreciation. They also taught me how to look at human weaknesses and forgive them. This time I am sharing with you stories of people who are no longer around but they touched my life.

Uncle Wee

Attended to him with Steve. We saw him at least three times a week. After we made our rounds to all the other patients, we will sit with him. He has been sick for some time now. He knew it was terminal but 'when' is the question? He was interested to see Steve and me as an item. We never denied nor did we admit we were. It was good to give him something to talk about. He always encouraged us in our relationship. He told me never to hold a quarrel for more than 15 minutes. He said never to bring a quarrel to bed. Of course Steve and me did not make it to bed. Uncle Wee was one of the longest surviving patient we had. He has children but we never saw them visiting him. We never asked and he never commented. When he passed on, we felt we lost a 'relative'. Grieving is inevitable.

Granny

I walked in and always say "Granny, how are you today. I am here to bathe you". I pushed her to the shower room. In my course with Hospice and the trust of the nurses, I have learnt how to bathe a patient. After that I will dry her long grey hair, comb her lock and powdered her body and face. "Humm.... you smell nice, Granny!". I gave her warm water, rest her properly on the pillow and saw her smile and relaxed. Nothing is like feeling clean and smelling good. These patients lie in bed most of the time.

Nancy

She had a bed next to Granny. I never paid her attention as I always walked straight to Granny. When Granny passed on, I walked in one day and Nancy said "Your Granny passed away last night in her sleep". She made an attempt to tell me. I smiled at her and thanked her and asked her what is her name? "My name is Nancy. I saw you always walked in and go straight to Granny. I saw you bathe her, comb her hair, feed her and hold her hands. You never talk to me". What an idiot I was. How can I be so insensitive. I apologized.

I breezed in and breezed out the Wards, indifferent to other patients except the one I am taking care of. I need to be careful. After that day, Nancy became my friend. She spoke good English, she read and she comprehended what was said and she was very observant. She, being a Christian was curious about Steve and me who are Buddhists. She wanted to know what our religion taught us. At time she asked whether I can read her the Daily Bread, I did. However deep in me there is this tussle going on. Why am I reading another religion's teaching? I overcame this. I should act with kindness and understanding. My most important task is to make the patient comfortable. I am not there to teach nor to convert. I am wondering will a Christian read a Buddhist scripture? They probably will say it is 'Words of the Devil'. I have people saying this to my face.

Nancy said " Lian, you are sincere. There are others who are here like a routine. She explained that she saw me walking around, talking to patients, attending to them, sit with them, rubbed them, feed them, bathe them and my actions were consistent. GOSH! I realized I am being scrutinized. There were days when she was in pain and the morphine made her drowsy. There were days she was alert and talked a lot. She asked everything about 'ME'. From family to education, to friends, to boy friends, to hobbies, to religion and my thoughts about other religion and "Will you marry Steve?". So she gets personal at time. I understand that her time is limited. I understand she has gone through all the stages of denial, rejection and finally accepting and now waiting for the final moment. She had made peace with herself. She cannot be sad all the time. It is a choice. Nancy decided that as long as she breaths, she is going to take an interest in life.

Nancy was an intellectual person. She was clever and had wisdom. She told me one day 'Lian, do you realized that for terminally ill patient like us, we do not have many people visiting. This is because we over lived the period we are suppose to die. All the anticipation by family and friends dwindled. When they realized that we are not going to die so soon, their visits get lesser and lesser'. GOSH! This lady, she was scary. So much reality in her words. There is something else she said that brought tears to my eyes... She said " Lian, you are my last friend on Earth." This is the impact! Even when I am typing this now... tears rolled in my eyes. HOW true! Did all the volunteers realized that their presence are so precious to these patients? I did not until Nancy told me so.

Nancy went into coma and not before she built a strong bonding with me. She is a friend, she still is. Her family knew that her time was near. Everyone came and bid farewell. She refused to leave. Being experienced, Matron called us "Lian, you better come down with Steve. Nancy went into coma since yesterday. The family is stressed out but Nancy is not leaving. I think she is waiting for you both". We rushed down after work.

Her family and relatives looked at the two of us. I realized they knew we were coming. We walked up to Nancy, I held her hand and said "Nancy, this is Lian and Steve is with me. We are here. There is nothing to fear. Cross over peacefully. I will hold your hand". Steve prayed silently. I held her hand and prayed silently. Suddenly we heard a very loud breaking sound. Nancy took her last breath. There were blood oozing from her eyes and ears. The family saw it all but we cautioned them not to cry loudly. Nurses came and cleaned her up. I think you have never seen someone who passed away with a radiant and pink look over her face. She smiled. Because she was frail and she always wore a white lace night dress. Today with this dressed up, she looked like an angel.

I whispered in her ear "Thank you Nancy, for the wonderful time and the friendship. Go on and take a better rebirth and come back with a healthy body". I said a prayer for her.

All these are ordinary beings. Life goes on until they expired BUT they are great teachers. There are lessons to be learnt. How you want to live is a CHOICE.

Friends asked me "Lian, are you not afraid of spirits or ghosts? These places where people die sure got plenty of souls around". Yes, I take Lift alone...the same Lift that bodies 'rolled-out' when they were sent to mortuary. They maybe around but I have nothing to fear. I always have the feelings that these souls will protect me from all harm. I am their friend when they are alive. Therefore keeping a pure loving heart is important.

I never forget to thank my Dad. It was him that I am able to do such wonderful and meaningful service for all these precious beings.

May all beings be well and happy!

Falling of the King of Pop

With news broadcasted all over the world on the death of Michael Jackson, I thank him for various reasons. He has given us good music, slick dance movements, his talent in song writings and many things he has done, known and unknown to the public. Because he is a Pop Icon, therefore every little moves he made is no longer a privacy. People censored him for his actions. They choose to believe he is bad. To some, they want to make the most out of it. People get close to him with ulterior motives. He is human, he is not a Saint. All these years of scandals probably took toll on his heart. I believe he is not well for a long time. 50 years is a pretty young age to die but to some, they do not have 50 years at all. It is not how long you live, it is how best you have lived.

Michael started with Jackson 5. That chubby little boy who belted "BEN" and hit it BIG. Subsequently he discovered his own unique music style, dance style and dress sense. His slick dance moves are something I love to watch. All the dancers with him are as good and as precise and matching every movement Michael made. His songs are wonderful. His attempt with Lionel on writing the lyrics and arranging for all the singers to belt out "We are the World" is commendable.

Why are we always finding faults about others, why can't we see the other way? Most of the time it is the media...media wrote juicy reports because the public wanted it and supported it. It leaks the privacy of people, it blemished their names, it caused pain and heartaches and many more. PUBLIC need NEWS but I no longer trust the truth by the media. They are out to make money, not there to give you the real picture. Anyway Michael is dead, the MEDIA can take a rest now. All those that scandalized Michael, they have one person less to create more verbal karma - thank Michael, he saves you from going to hell with that bad mouth.

Those that felt that he is a child abuser and a bad person, to me, I see an unhappy child who is trying to find his childhood. Those that sued him for child abuse, can now follow him to where he is ... to get money or justice. NO, I am all out for Child Abuse, but what evidences? I hugged my god-son, I bathed my little nephew...will that makes me a child abuser?

Above is just some on my feelings. Michael can finally take a rest from this FAKE world and all the accusations that comes with it.

My message to Michael - you can't avoid it because your persona is larger than life. There will be no one like you. May you Rest in Peace. People who loves you will genuinely mourn for you, and you can bless those that have wronged you.

I wanted to share a video here with you on Michael's contribution to the green movements. The World is sick, both nature and human. Here is Earth Song by Michael Jackson. This is my way of saying good-bye and thank you Michael.

A burst of lights...

Yesterday I drove around aimlessly...I love the countryside away from the noisy city. I did this alone most of the time during weekend...I will drive to the beach and swim for half an hour or I will drive leisurely along a secluded road or I will drive into unknown lanes...always taking my camera with me.

Yesterday... I drove to naval base....This is one part of the countryside that I like....the roads are free of many cars. I love all those colonial houses... those Black and White ones....I wish I own one....Dreaming....and if you dare to dream... it will come true...Hopefully!

I drove myself to the end of the road and ended at the seaside. Never knew that there is such a beach and are packed with picnickers...fishing enthuse..and children running around. The Ice Cream Uncle was so busy cutting up ice cream and sandwiched them with wafers...and handing them out at the same time collecting monies and smiling widely! Nothing like making an honest living.

I parked my car, bought an ice cream and strolled along the beach. I do not know when I became used to being alone...yes, alone! I begin to feel connecting with people involves too much emotions. I do not know when I started to love nature..be it a tree, a small little insignificant tiny flower...to whatever I lay my eyes on...without the human factor in it.

I took lots of pictures during my travels and my stay abroad...and they are mostly nature. My favorite is to take pictures from the sky..of clouds and reflections. However today I am posting pictures I took of an oil rig tanker under repair. The full lighting of the tanker was beautiful and my camera did not do justice to this scene. Therefore I called it a 'burst' of lights....The sharpness of a picture or the blurring effect both are beautiful in their own credits.... enjoy and share these with you........!

June is the month we celebrate Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to those with DaD. Let DaD knows you love him.....to those without DaD, lets share these masculine pictures (I see vessel as masculine because it is a masculine dominated arena). Let these pictures remind us of DaD.. strong, solid, sturdy, full of life...and always has been a silent pillar behind us.....

DaD, wherever you are..... I Love You....!

Rain & Tears

Rain and Tears (雨和泪) is the song that both I and Ray picked and we both love the music and the lyric. I have kept this song tugged away in my memory... and now I like to share with those who are reading here and hope you like it too... The very fantastic singer.....Demis Roussos ! The original version is by Aphrodites Child (the first group who sang the song) ... ENJOY!

Leslie Cheung and his songs…

Below is my tribute to the one and only, irreplaceable Leslie Cheung! I used most of the songs that I can remember to do a story...dedicated to all the undying fans of Leslie Cheung!

*An unbelievable six years has gone by and yet 'I Miss You Much’ from your fans did not subside. From an 'American Pie', you shot to fame and this gave you a chance to 'Start from Zero'(有零开始). You continued to 'Chase'(追) after your dreams and we, after you. As you became more and more popular, you laid your 'Naked Secrets'(赤裸的秘密) for all to see without fear.

*'Who Would Understand'(有誰共鳴)? Did it hinder your fans from loving you? No, we continue to scream for Leslie Cheung and we got to hear more and more of your romantic ballads. So when 'The Wind Starts Again'(风再起时), we knew that it is going to be 'The Unconventional Wind'(不羁的风). With that, 'Wind Continues to Blow'(风继续吹), it blew us to the magic land of 张国荣!

*When Leslie belted 'Monica', we cannot help but yelled along. So we all 'Stand Up' and dance. We 'Fall in Love with you'(为你钟情). Many 'Young Girl Thoughts'(少女心事) were of a Prince Charming. Dreams of 'Stolen Love'(偷情) grew into 'Deep Love'(儂本多情). We knew Leslie is a 'A Song at Midnight'(夜半歌声) that hooked us on.

*Now that you 'Refuse to Play Again'(拒绝再玩), we 'Lost You for Life'(一背子失去了你). We were heartbroken and we 'Blamed you for being too Beautiful'(怪你过分美丽). In the 'Dark Midnight'(黑色午夜), we left all our 'Previous Love'(当年情) behind. 'In this Lifetime'(今生今世), we 'Deeply Embrace'(深情相拥) only you. While you were singing 'Love in the Snow'(雪中情) we took a closer look at your 'Profile'(側面), it was unbearably beautiful. For this we became your 'Platonic Ones'(红颜白髪).

*Your 'Silence is Golden'(沉默是金) now. We are 'Afraid we won't meet Again'(只怕不在遇上). People asked: 'Who makes your heart goes crazy'(谁令你心痴)? It was your 'Sweet and Tenderness'(柔情蜜意) and the seductive 'Red'(红) roses that you sent to all of us.

*We have 'No intention to sleep'(无心睡眠) and keep 'Opening the Mail Box' (打开信箱). Trusting that we 'Bound to be Lucky'(始终会幸运), that all these are but a 'BAD Joke'. We 'Adore'(爱慕) you. Our wish is simple, we 'Don't need too much'(无需要太多) but we need 'Fate'(缘分) to bring us together again. Now, we no longer am able to move 'Forward to the days in the future'(奔向未来日子) with you, you chose to travel alone.

*'This Criss-Cross Love'(恋爱交叉) is 'Burning Hot'(热辣辣). Friends started to doubt our love for you. We can only say 'The Moon represents my Heart'(月亮代表我的心). When our 'Brows and Eyes meet'(眉来眼去) again, it brought out 'A Bit of Craziness'(一片痴) from 'People with Intentions'(有心人). You were a 'Big Heat'(大热), my Dear.

*Furthermore your 'Fragrant and Magnificent Distinction'(芳华绝代) made you a 'Celebrity'(明星). Is that 'Enough'(够了)? 'All Because of You'(全赖有你), our days of growing up were not so monotonous. Your news never fails to make us 'Drip Sweat'(滴汗).

*Have we lost you our 'Little Star'(小明星)? 'All These Years'(这些年来) effort of hoping to grow old with you is gone. 'When Love Became History'(当爱已成往事), we can only 'Hold on to Yesterday'(留住昨天). This is an 'Illusion'(幻影) but how do we stop 'Thinking of you'(想你)? We have even forgotten our 'Left and Right Hand'(左右手).

*'The Blues of Sadness'(蓝色憂郁) reminded us of 'Childhood days'(童年时). Will you be back as 'Lady Ghost'(倩女幽魂) Ning Cai Ceng? or Shi San Shao of 'Rouge'(艳脂扣). Maybe you should do 'Farewell my Concubine'(霸王别姬) again. 'Good if it is true'(当真就好).

*We are 'Getting Through This Together'(共同渡过). When comes April every year, we are 'Not Afraid of Loneliness'(不怕寂寞) to once again open our wound, and love you all over again.

*I am sure we all have 'A Thousand Dreams of you'.... Leslie!!

我心痛'今生今世'...'只怕不在遇上'. 当'风再起时', 我想起 '当年情'. '全赖有你'...所以能'共同渡过'. 你的'芳华绝代'显示你是'明星'. 现在的你'沉默是金'选择'拒绝再玩'. '夜半歌声' 我 '为您钟情'....

寄..心爱的哥哥...张国荣!

Qing Ming Festival...

Festival is around the corner. It falls on the Chinese Lunar 3rd Month. This year it falls on 27th March 2009. To the Chinese, this is All Souls Day. Family with ancestors will gathered at temples to pray for the departed. Children will visit ancestors' graves in the cemeteries. Others will visit temples where ancestors’ tablets and ashes are kept.

This is also a picnic day as families will bring with them lots of food, drinks, incense papers, incense, paper monies, paper clothes and what they believe the deceased will like. Many wondered whether the dead will receive or use such paper items burnt for their benefit. To me, it is Chinese Culture. It is to show filial piety to departed parents and ancestors. They are our roots and without them we are not here today. It is also family gathering day as all members, relatives from far and near will surely make it to "Sweep the Grave".

Children whose parents are buried will bring with them red/ gold paint to touch up the words on the tombstone if the colors faded. This is possible because of the rain, shine and the work of the elements will also erode the mud around the grave. Feng Shui believes that ancestor's grave must be in good conditions because it reflects the future of the living generations. So people will patch up holes with mud, laid out food and drinks and at the same time have a feast at the grave. The most important aspect is to ask for 4-digits lottery numbers. Of course some do strike it rich and they will say that their ancestors are blessing them with fortune.

My parents are cremated and their ashes and tablets were placed in a temple. When I booked the place for Dad, Mum said she wanted hers booked in advance and now both of them are together again side by side. I am not a superstitious Buddhist. I remember my parents and visit them as and when I wanted to. I do not wait for Qing Ming to do so. However on these 15 days, there are prayers and chanting by monks for the departed and people contributed to these activities to elevate ancestors to Pureland.

Normally after the prayers, families will leave behind some fruits, food and drinks on the grave. The remaining will be taken home for every one's consumption. My parents told me a story about a young boy who makes part time money during this festival by cutting overgrown grasses for graves when families of the departed pay them for it. These boys spent the whole day at the graveyard and they normally ate the food left behind on the grave. The law is that you can eat food that was left behind on the grave but you cannot make fun of it.

One day two boys after consuming some food were left with fruits on their hands. Instead of consuming them, they threw the fruits at each other like a Hit and Run game. As they ran along, they picked up more fruits from all the graves around and threw at each other. Of course they had fun. The not so good news was both of the boys fell sick. They were down with fever and doctors' medicines cannot bring it down. They were not able to neither stand up nor walk because they their limbs were wobbly. Parents were worried but they knew these boys were making extra monies cutting grasses for graves. The boys must have offended the 'spirits'. After checking the Almac, it truly indicated such happenings and both boys admitted that they took fruits and threw at each other. The boys’ family brought with them food, fruits, flowers, incense and incense papers and prayed to all these 'spirits' asking for their forgiveness. Say what you like, after praying, the boys were up and running again the next day. All fever and wobbly legs were gone.

My uncle was buried in one of the cemetery. Months before that, Mum dreamt about Uncle (Dad's eldest brother). Mum saw him looking up at the roof and water was leaking down. The hole was quite big. When Qing Ming came, we visited his grave and we saw a big hole by the side of the grave. The mud eroded creating the tomb curving in with a hole. Mum immediately recalled her dream. Dad quickly got the boys nearby to sell us mud to patch up the hole and filled up the curved-in and the grave looks like new again. Therefore, days like this are not to be taken lightly. Behaviors and respect have to be appropriate.

This year as usual, we have joined a prayer session in a temple for this purpose. It is a marked of respect to Dad and Mum and the Wong Family ancestors. It is a duty and responsibility to one's parents even though they are no longer around. My parents live in my heart always!

Papa and Mum, I love you both....

In Memory.. Leslie Cheung & Others

To : The evergreen legend stage performers of the East....

Lots have been posted all over the internets, Fans' sites etc...but on my own Blog, I wanted to record my tribute to these exceptional artists. Although they are no longer around but the joy from the music, movies and stage performances that they left behind is a legacy for all those that love them.

至少還有你 - Leslie Cheung. An absolute performer on stage whether it was a concert or a movie. He exuded self-confident in his arena. His sexy personality comes naturally. It was in his bones. He was so suave, so good and clean looking and 100% an artist. He has many songs, movies and MTV to his credits. To fans who love him, love every inch and bits of him. I started to notice him in my higher school days. I am not a fanatic fan but I am a fan. It is the 5th years now that he has passed away but fans remember him like he is alive. He has millions of love surrounding him but we were not able to buffer him from all his sufferings. I missed his life performances and I have to make do with all that was left - his past achievements to last me for a long long time... Below are some links to selected songs that I like and share it here with those who are interested. Leslie Cheung a forever legend...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_JsCpchaFg "Left hand Right hand 左手右手". This is an acclaimed number. The arrangement and the lyric aptly present the singer.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t9narDxfMU&feature=related - Guo Guo a... Tribute to Leslie...This person who arranged and wrote the lyric used some of the famous songs sung by Leslie and used them so aptly to describe fans' feeling. He pens the surprises and joy Leslie brought to us by his music and movies. Whoever he is, I thank him. This song now becomes a classic for me to remember Leslie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62ytG6NsIcs&feature=related "Who Can Be with Me 有誰共鳴". This is a classic. I love it when I first heard it. Whether his fast or slow songs, they make an impact and an impression.
Roman and Anita Mui's 'Man Chu Za Wah'. Anita Mui's glamor on stage is matchless. Many tried to imitate her and none is anywhere near her. The low husky voice and her daring dances on stage were super entertaining. Whether she paired up with Roman or Leslie, the stage was on fire! It was sad that she too left us. I supposed with her good friends like Roman and Leslie gone, the impact on her is great especially the later. Her classic movie 'Rouge' with Leslie was the last 100% performance from these two artist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtTrykVmYl4&feature=related
Roman Tam was the voice behind all the sword fighting sagas HK serials that we love to watch. He paired with Jenny Tseng who has a 'big lung' to match his. They both have good voices. He was another very sexy performer on stage and the way he 'dragged' can make any woman feels inadequate as we are. However when he was with Anita Mui, they both brought out a different type of energy on stage.
Lydia Sum, the happy comedian that brought lots of laughter and comfort to millions. She was a good sport. Her joyous self and permanent laughter was a 'landmark'. Her unfailing love as a Mum. Her failed marriage and her courage to move on are well respected. Her commitment to her career was remarkable. My Mum loved to watch her. We used to watch with Mum and therefore got to know Lydia too. Her signature - the hair and the spec and the laughter will live on forever.Acknowledgement is given to all the photographers that took these pictures that captured the essences of these artists.

Really misses these artists....and when can we see some good ones?