Assessment...

A friend sent me a set of personality test questionnaires. This is done by BBC Science. Since he is interested to know where I stand, I did it to please him.

My friend is an architect. True to his creative juice, his temper is worst than mine. Looks like creative people are temperamental. I love his non-pretentious personality. Verbally he is very sharp and very direct. Socially he is a party animal. Privately he is a boy at heart. Being with him brings the best and worst out of me. His unfailing support all these years keep me emotionally balance. Not that we do not have fights - when we do, you don't want to be around. I am wondering 'how come all these fights' never tore us apart? What is the chemistry? His answer 'Willingness to look beyond and that you truly want this friendship and the person is worth the price.' He prides himself for picking right friends. For me, I think it is mutual understanding, 'knowing you, knowing me'.

Maybe because of this, we are like minded in many ways. The only thing that makes us different - I am no sarong party girl. I am not tan, sexy, ‘shape..ey, drink and party with him. I am an odd one to him. Fortunately his shoulder and chest is big enough for me to cry and I have soiled many of his nice Ts and shirts. Ha.a.a.a., sorry lah! I am no cry baby but I do cry.

I spent the last weekend with him. I am glad I did. His reasoning and ability to see matters are far clearer than me. I suppose it has something to do with his work - he pays attention to his drawings and details. I believe architectural is an emotional vocation. If there is no emotion, where will there be beautiful and outstanding designs. He is daring and creative and since he is free lancing, he has free hands to do it his way. I am influence by him and I love architectural designs - Building, Interior, Exterior and Landscaping. Oh, he won a few awards too.

OK, here is the result.... I am an innovator!

Bbc

Can’t legislate Love…

Took the title from the newspaper and such apt description.

Really and truly Love cannot be legislated. I posted a Chinese Hokkien song on my Chinese Blog. This song touches my heart because of the lyrics as well as the musical arrangement which sync very well. It speaks about someone who lost his grandmother. He thought about all the things she did for him, the best food were left for him and all the toys that she bought him. He remembered she taught him to do well in his study and be successful so that he is useful to the society. He was young than and did not understand what she meant. As he grew, he began to realize the values and goodness grandmother was teaching him. Today he is successful but she is no longer around to see it and to enjoy his fruits. He missed grandmother and he wished that in his next life he will be her grandchild again, to enjoy her love and to once again call ‘Grandma’!

As we progress, people are getting selfish. We find old folks, bothersome, cumbersome and tacky. We lost patience while talking to them. Aged = sickness = money = responsibility = sacrificing ones freedom = to lots of things we want to do and because of these folks our hands and legs are tied. Imagine a parent taking his child to court because the child did not upkeep his parents.

Being Asian, we emphasized a lot on filial piety. We usually grow up around our parents and siblings. Even if we finished school and started working in the society, we stay with our parents. Some even do so when they are married and even if they live apart, it is within the small island of Singapore.

However there are more and more people abandoning their old parents. These folks are left in the Old Aged Homes or are left wondering around the streets. These unfaithful and unfilial kids felt that if the don’t take care of their parents, the government will – good accounting! Too bad, Karma doesn’t work that way.

Below are some true encounters.

1) A couple lived in a landed property and with maid in the house. In the day, they chased the old man out of the house. This old man wondered around the neighborhood. He ate food and drank drinks or soup left by the public in food centers. Day in and day out he wondered aimlessly. When it rains, he took shelter at bus stops. If you think you can depend on children when you grow old? Think again.

2) Ah Beng goes to work daily. Ah Lian stayed at home and gossips on the phone with friends. In her free time she gambled with neighbors. Her children are rowdy and one skipped school and got pregnant. They are endlessly bickering at home. However they have a Grandmother living with them. She was frail, not from aged but from malnutrition because most of the time Ah Lian forgot to feed her. Grandmother fainted at home. She died of hunger while Ah Beng, Ah Lian and children was having a sumptuous meal in the neighborhood shopping mall.

3) Uncle Y, a businessman. As he aged, his eyesight failed him. The son that he lived with is a professional. Both the son and the daughter-in-law find the old man embarrassing. They chased him out of the house. Uncle Y has given all his savings to the son. To Chinese people, the eldest son is looked upon as the one who carries the ‘Surname’ so he is much loved and pampered by the whole family. Relatives complained that the couple was ill-treating their old father and to save face, they let him stayed at an HDB flat that belonged to a brother who just passed away. The couple arranged this so that Uncle Y stayed far away from where they lived. Daily, Uncle Y had to take a bus to the couple home to have his meals and returned home at night. Because of his failing eyesight and aged, he fell from the bus. He died at the hospital.

4) Uncle L, down with 4th stage cancer, lived in a Home. He had two sons, both are professionals and are successful in the society. They hardly dropped by to see Uncle L, so do their wives. When they were informed that Uncle L was critical, they were busy successful people with lots of meeting and entertainments – all these are more important than a dying father. Uncle L died alone. When they arrived at the hospital, they did not go into the room to look at Uncle L’s face. They stand outside the room negotiating where the wake should be, your home or mine! Each gave excuses and finally decided to leave Uncle L at the funeral parlor.

Are these real life stories enough to make you sick? I cannot understand how one can do anything like that to one’s parents? Will one not have children of their own? Do they know children learn from examples?

Looking at children borne from the 80s, they are so full of themselves. They do not know what is respect and they are ill-mannered. The Chinese virtues of mannerisms and respecting the elders are rapidly going to grave. How many parents know how to restrain their kids? A friend proudly said to me, “My son, he is so clever and he knows how to tell the uncle he wanted roast duck ‘thigh’ rice. He told uncle to keep the ‘thigh’ and not chopped it up”. I looked at her. She continued to say “Kids are so stressed nowadays; they have tons of homework from school”. What a wonderful mother, my mother never said that I am stressed from my school work and I deserved a ‘duck thigh’.

What children are today, is the doing of parents. How a child is brought up and the values the child is embracing is the doing of the parents. We are creating the future generation, nurturing and instilling values…and until we see the impact…or else we will continue to nature an ‘uncaring’ future generations.

By than I think we all will have to follow the Japanese tradition – when you are old and not useful to your children and society, you will have to wonder off and die in some remote, unreachable and no human will want to wonder place …and take your last breath! Forget about being buried decently. Forget about anyone remembering you on Qing Ming or 7th Month. Actually this serves the purpose of Buddhist teaching…of doing one last good deed ‘leave your body to feed the hungry sentient beings, be it ants, worms or wild dogs.

I was wondering whether we have such place in Singapore to die in peace?

Wind beneath my wings

Ouch! I wrote something and I lost it. Isn't it that we lost things along the way, from the time we are born...the first thing we lost is the umbilical cord, a connection to Mum. As time goes on, we lost our pacifier, we lost our smelly pillow. As we grow older, we have friends..... and because of our childishness, we fight and quarrel and eventually lost friends along the way. As we move from schools to schools, we make new friends and lost old friends. We started to lost boy friends, girl friends....etc. However if a friendship is True, no matter how many twists and turns, it remains steady as a rock.



This movie is about 2 girls who met during a vacation and became friends. Many years later they met again. One became a singer and another a lawyer. Unfortunately the lawyer had cancer and before she died she willed her daughter to the singer. It is about friendship, love, bonding and courage. The singer is Bette Meddler and she also acted as the singer.

I was invited to this movie by a girlfriend. She was going through some difficult moments in her life and was contemplating of ending her sufferings. She said to me after the movie " Lian, can you take Michelle and love her like your own if anything happen to me? " I thought about her. We have lost touch since...

Wherever she maybe, I wish her well.

Bits and Pieces...

When I was born
I was loved by my parents
When I started to go to school
My parents’ love turned to phobia
They wanted me to be
Everything they desire
Piano class, Ju Suan class, swimming class, ballet class
And the lots…where is the love?

When I entered my teen,
I began to wonder
Why my chest is so much higher
and why do I need to ‘bleed’
making me sick and uncomfortable...

I began the journey of exploring,
conscious of myself
I wanted to look pretty
I started to make-up already
I want a life without parents' control
I hated their interference,
I hated it when they said
'Girl, you finished your homework?
why are you always talking on your handphone?'

I started LOVING myself more,
Now my friends are most important of all
I find my parents do not understand me …
I started to have ‘secrets’
‘Secrets’ that I shared with my friends,
because I think they understand.

Moving away from my parents mentally
Excuses ...the GAP... a generation gap!
Why my anger builds up every time they talk to me
I had to scream, I had to shout
I had to turn my face and shut my ears..out

My parents – why is my child behaving like this?
We cannot understand them anymore
What are the ‘youngsters’ thinking now a day?
They watch with concern but kept their silence..

I started crying – my first heartbreak...
I broke off from my boy friend...
it was like the end of the world
oh! Idiot...how could this happen?
I am so overwhelmed with grieve,
self pity and ME

When I started working,
I am a ‘matured’ young woman.
Guys swim around like fishes in the sea.
My mind are fed with fashions, brands and luxuries
and possible ‘available’ husband to be!

I picked the man I LOVE,
or I think he LOVEs me.
More are the cases – Most are not the cases!
I am the happy bride...
One day I woke up with a ‘thud’
My husband is not mine anymore..
why? why? Why?
Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong?
Why that shit ‘woman’.. why not that shit ‘me’
Why am I so blind, why did I fell for his kind…
Why that sweet talking idiot
said all the things he didn't mean!!!!
and got me into this unacceptable whirlwind!

Anger, frustrations, pain, self denied, withdrawal,
Depression and sleepless nights
All because of this Man
who breaks my world like glasses
and leave me to pick up the pieces
My world shattered, my pain suffices, my tear flows
and the pain in my heart is killing me!
I can’t breathe, I want to die..
just buried me alive...

I forgot the LOVE of my parents
watching from afar…
I shut the door and pushed them ‘out’
oh! so long ago..
But I did not realized
they are going through pain…
when I inflicted pain on myself
Why?
because they have a LOVE that I owned
but I did not want..
a LOVE that wrapped around me like bandage
to protect me from 'damage’
BUT I tore them apart!
because I think I am smart

I started looking back..
No matter right and wrong
My parents’ arms are an opened 'Home'
A place I can rest before
I pick up my pace again.

I picked myself up, I moved on
I learnt my mistakes, and I’ll stand tall….
I am not shutting my heart to LOVE
So when the next one comes around..
I am prepared for love battle ground.

The world continues to turn,
things continue to happen
The same song will be sung over and over again
to different people in different land
Be it girl or man,
some are lucky and some are ain’t
But what the heck!
LOVE is the name..
that keeps the world both SANE and INSANE…ha.a.a.a.a.a!

My Dream Cars...

Actually I have diverse interests. Not all girls will like what I like. Make-up, fashions, brands, shoes, handbags, jewelery, $$$...are something that do not really attract me. I like Cars, Travels, Photography.. and exploring places a girl will not do on her own.

With 'F1' hot on the heals, we do not have to wait too long to see the next round of challenge - will 'Shoemarker' appears this time? All cars lovers are eagerly waiting for the race to start.

Being crazy as I am, there are some cars which I 'love' and dream of. They are one of the fastest car in the World. I have ride on a Lamborghini, a Ferrari and a Porches. I just felt that it is wasted to have them here because we do not have the roads to justify their speed... I love them BUT I do not want to own one nor drive one. The driver should be someone who is suave and good-looking - every bit a millionaire and fit enough to be a F1 driver. Yes, you can tell me to go on dreaming and I will....ha.a.a.a.!

I know why people love fast cars. Not only it carries your status, it is 'show-off' that you can afford to own one and you belong to the league. However for me, it is exhilarating...the free sprite...the wind on my face...the wheels at my disposable...and the steering takes me to where I want to be. Of course, the car must be a head turner. The highways in Singapore is not made for such 'beauties' so is the Malaysian highways with all the dead tolls. Imagine driving one of these, cruising all over Europe. The car feel free, the driver feel free and plenty of space to move along. Hum.m.m.m still dreaming.

Here are pictures of the cars..credit to the cars companies who took them....

Bugatti Veyron

Koenigsegg CCX

Lamborghini

Ferrari Enzo

Porsche Carrera GT

These cars are beautiful. They are not cheap and some of them are in Singapore in someone's backyard..and only during motor show that you will see the Owners' showing them off.

It is a Toy...an expensive one.

Happy 44th Birthday Singapore - 9.8.09

HAPPY 44th BIRTHDAY ...SINGAPORE!

9th August 2009...we celebrate Sinagpore 44th birthday! The slogan is "Come Together, Reaching Out . Reaching Up". This year emphasized raising awareness for less privileged Singaporeans and working with charity organizations to contribute directly to the whole Nation celebration of NDP 2009.

This tiny island south of the tip of West Malaysia is nothing significant compared to 'big' countries. You won't be able to see us on the map... As for resources, we have 'Human'. The credit of the success of this 'Tiny' owes it to MM Lee KY and all his old guards. I respect MM Lee and I have a few favorite ministers too...Dr Goh KS, Mr Rajaratnam (deceased) and Mr Richard Hu. I am not that old to know them but I read about them. Now it is PM Lee HL and his cabinet.

Years after years, we have this thingy we called NDP (National Day Parade). This is to boost our tiny island, give our citizen a sense of belonging and at the same time create some fun activities for the Nation. All from Air Force, Army, Police Force, various ministries and schools took part. The preparations and planning starts from beginning of the year or maybe even earlier. The highlights are the flypass by the Air Force F6 and the fireworks. Streets were closed for partying with DJs and 'hot' music. Broadcasting over the television is live.

I do not call myself patriotic but I love this little island I lived on. It gives me a place I call 'Home'. I am not bothered about all the scream and shout from some who sneered at the government - you can't please everybody. All the more this tiny island which is not homogeneous but a cosmopolitan city is even more precious. You will find races like the original Malays, the Chinese, the Indian, the mixed marriage Eurasian, the mixed marriage Peranakan, and we have lots of Westerners from all over Europe and USA working here too. This is a multi racial, multi tongues and multi religion island. We just have to look at countries around us to know that we are blessed.

Every year there is a Theme Song to commemorate this happy day! I attached here two Video clips - One is the Theme Song 2009 - 'What do you see'. Another is a song named 'Home' which is one of my favorite.




Happy Birthday Singaporean!!!!!

Cheers Singapore....

F1....again 09

Once again F1 cum GrandPrix 09's excitement is building up. The much look forward to event will happen in September 2009.

Caught in the 'hub' of F1, I cannot help but be one of those who must be a part of the 'hip' thingy. I love cars and anything to do with cars. I learnt car tunings once..very much a boy stuff! Lots of COOL guys...with cars!

I remembered I was at the site itself on Friday 26.9.08 night before the race starts. The racers were practicing and the sound of the engines made me so 'high'. After a few rounds, the sound was unbearable to the ears although I love it. I wanted to buy the 'walk around' tickets but I was late and they were SOLD out. There were foreigners hanging around wanting to buy 'black market' tickets. In Singapore such activities are an 'Offence'...I wonder anyone dare?

F1 Tickets for the Grand Stands were SOLD out before the race started and so I have to find ways to view the 'happenings'. Sitting in front of home TV is of course the best but the 'feel' is not there. I ended up on the 29th Floor of Raffles City Tower at a friend's invitation. The cars were too fast to capture by my digital camera..they 'blurred' the picture. We were able to see the circuit - 3/4 of it because some bends where hidden from where I was watching. Fortunately there were big TV screens around so we did not missed any exciting moments.

2008's hot favorites did not make it. For those who bet on Hamilton and Massa probably burnt a little hole in their wallet. Hamilton used a McLaren Mercedes engine while Massa ran a Ferrari. Too bad for Ferrari. Massa was flagged off before his Team could remove the fuel pump so penalty + the delay caused him dearly. This made him fall back to 15 place which is really unexpected and a pain to him. How unfortunate! His counterpart Raikkonen had an accident brushing his car against the road block. So both Ferrari were out of the race. The Winner - Alanso (Spaniard) is with Renault. He is actually the 'Black Horse'. In the initial test round he ended at 15 place and he finished the race in 1st place. Isn't that ironical? McLaren Mercedes is also disappointing. Hamilton came in 3rd. The other cars were Toyota, Toro Roso and BMW Sauber.

I realized that Singapore did not take side of any specific 'engine'. They were jubilant when Alanso won too.....Humm.m.m.m. So they just wanted a GrandPrix and who is the winner..is a game. Actually the Chinese says "You don't know who is the winner until it ended". The Singapore Pool is the happiest..they make the most money. In the end, the Winner......is.......SINGAPORE! This year the betting will be as crazy as ever. Good for the economy.

Buddha's taught 'Impermanent'...the Winner Today, is history Tomorrow. Who is going to win this year 2009? Yet to be seen.

Some pictures below...not the best. It is from my Olympus Digital Camera, cameras from friends and TV... to recall the event and build up some excitement before the race starts again. Too soon? NO...NO...not too soon...the crescendo is the best and leads to anti climax.