Nothing lor.....

Actually I am one person that finds it very difficult to conform to a certain routine type of activity. I tried and do my best to faithfully follow but I feel tied down. There are many ways to Buddhism to suit one's ability. Some are very devotional and they can follow a master, serves him and do every little thing for him. Some are very intellectual and they study all the Sutras and Teachings by Great Teachers and Buddha.

Being devotional is wonderful and I rejoice at those who are selflessly serving the master. However in the long run, one tends to associate and got carried away. If the master is someone of highly venerated status, one thinks one is the chosen one. One began to see others as inferior. Nothing is wrong with this because we are human after all. It happens if one happened to have some people of higher, richer and influential status within one's master circle. However to me, all these 'Big Guns' or 'Millionaires' has nothing to do with me. They are useful to propagate the Dharma but not for my enlightenment. I stay in the background. Another thing is... even if I get near to my master...what do I want from him? I rather sit far away, watch him, rejoice at all the blessings he transferred to all the devotees, rejoice at him selflessly giving himself and his time to all those running to him for every little problem and seeing them going away happy and blessed. He is doing Buddha's job when we don't have a physical Buddha during this time.

In actual fact, I do not know what to ask of my master. Talk to him about Dharma? He is so busy with so many activities for the benefits of sentient beings. I realized that...I have to work on my enlightenment myself. I felt that everything asked and said to me...is but words if I do not understand.

As for the intellectuals, they read and think they understand everything that is in the books. Some became proud. Some think that they are intellectual and therefore they are higher than those who are less educated and devotional. Intellectuals may know all those that are in the books but again, all the books are just books if one do not have wisdom to understand the teachings. When one knows the books and still go around acting like any other beings with anger, jealousy, pride, unfeeling towards others...so what good are all the books? To me the books are like a boat, it helps one to understand and give one directions BUT if one gets on the boat and forget why one is on it...in no time one just go for a tour and end up in the wrong destination.

Because I am a free spirit, I like to ponder and think. I like to think about the verses in the Sutra, and why it was written that way. I rather not read any books on these...NO!...I am not smart or what...but what is in the books is someone else's wisdom and understanding, it is not mine.

I think I am also more Zen than anything. Zen has no words to it. When Buddha pick a flower and Maha Kaspa smiled and others just watch on not knowing what transpired. Therefore in the crowd, such understanding and energy flows between Buddha and Maha Kasapa are only for this group of people.

There is Buddha's teachings in a cup of tea and the tea leaves floating in the cuppa. There is Buddha's teachings when you touch the flowers, hugged the tree, smell the air etc. There is Buddha's teachings when you know that you are alive. There is Buddha's teachings in both happy time and adverse time.

Truth...is Universal. It needs no words. Just like compassion and loving-kindness, it is acted out and captured, knowing it is there and yet it is not there. Bodhicitta as well. If you asked 'what is Bodhicitta' and I said "it is the seed of enlightenment" and it is all wrong. Bodhicitta is not a tree so where is the seed?

I still have a lot to work on (mada mada dane!)... I am still gross.