Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Needing a 'Man'....

Sounds promiscuous!

I am not a ‘tart’ neither am I a ‘prude’. I chance upon blogs and some of them are adult blogs. A few of them are really beautifully photogenic sites. Anyway my purpose is not to discuss adult blogs but to put in my two cents worth about what I thought of Needing a ‘Man’.

There are many reasons for needing a Man. I have been thinking about this the whole morning. Is it wrong to need a man? How many of you think about why you need a man? Or have you thought about it? I asked some friends and not everyone is opened to say what they have in mind. After all we are Asian and Asian cultures are deeply rooted in us.

Oh Man! … I am not sexist neither am I ‘gay’. I love ‘Man’ and I have nothing against them. So what use do we have for a ‘Man’?

1) Lots were said about Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. We are from two poles. We know that unlike poles attract. It is magnetic. Whether you attract the right man, it has to do with the criteria of ‘The Man’ that you wanted for yourself. If he is your choice, and you made a wrong choice – you dance to the music as you created it. I have friends who ended up happily married, I have friends who ended up divorced. I have ‘live’ together friends. I have friends who are abused by their husbands, reported police case and yet they went back to their husbands – do you have a reason? Are these women wrong? NO, I do not think so. To each his own.

2) ‘I need a Man around the house’ … This is a good reason. He is your ‘handy’ man. He change the ‘bulb’ when it blows. He drives you around to work and pick you after work. His presence in the house makes you feel secure. I have known Men who do housework better than Women. I have known Men who are good providers of the families. I have seen Men who are ‘lazy like sh*t’. I have seen Men who are so shameless that they ‘live off’ Women. I have seen abusive Men – not that they look like rascals. On the contrary, they look like an executive all dressed up with long sleeves and tie but they beat the daylight out of their wives and children. After all that is said, Women still need them ‘in the house’. Are they wrong? NO, I do not think so. Such Women deserve the Men of their choice.

3) ‘I am not happy at home and I want to set up my own home’… some Women said. So Men became an ‘excuse’ to leave home. Is there love on both sides? Would Men marry Women if they know that they got the Women out of convenience? If Women married out of convenience and Men married them because the Women are their ‘dream lovers’….well making of ‘divorce’ is in the process. It is a wrong reason for needing a Man. Is she wrong? NO, I do not think so. She made her ‘bridge’ and she crosses it herself.

4) ‘He is so good looking, rich, influential, drives fast cars, lives in a Penthouse/landed properties/big bungalow and travels first-class. Women who think this way are branded ‘materialistic’. On top of that, Women dolled up to the nine with branded stuff to satisfy their vanities. Are these Women wrong? NO, I do not think so. Everyone has their own self worth and values. It is just that some Women think that they have the look to make it there and they are using it. Men who fall for these good looking women pay to have their Ego satisfied. This type of relationship is none other than a business deal. You have what I want. You want to sell, I want to buy. Done Deal!

5) ‘I am lonely, I need a Man’…such Women just blindly jump on the wagon. They fall head over heels in love. Give all their self esteem and self worth for these Men. They did not find out the background. They just need the Men’s arms around them and they are happy. I have seen such friends. Most of them ended up learning that he has a wife tugged somewhere, or they are being used for Sex. We read about girls disappearing probably sold to syndicate as ‘sex tools’. Others ended up being single mother – helpless, hopeless and sore. Are these Women wrong? NO, I don’t think so. They are naive and they took a painful path to grow up.

6) Match make marriages – These are very popular around the world. You read in the papers, on the net, from agencies, posted flyers of available ‘brides’ and ‘bridegrooms’ for take. Especially in Asia, we read about ‘Bride from Vietnam’, ‘Bride from China’ and ‘Bride from Philippines’. Recently I saw a photo exhibition by a Taiwanese photographer. As I strolled on, I saw pictures he took of girls, of how they are ‘sold’ and on the day of their marriages. The grooms were old Men, probably Men who have no opportunities to find themselves a wife. Now they have the money and hope to take a wife. Most Women will not marry an old Man, not in any parts of the world unless he is wealthy! However these Women were from villages and poor families. What were these Women out for? A better life and at the same time help the family with the money given as ‘dowry’. What do they know about the Men they married? We maybe with a Man for ‘donkey ears’, do we know them? How will these Women know what they were into? Some Women got abused, killed or lived like a slave. Other smarter Women ran away after a few months into marriage. Are these Women wrong? NO, Men are gullible and that is why we need them.

7) ‘I marry him because I love him and he loves me’…lucky Women. Only until death do us part that you can say ‘Lucky Woman’. Love changes along the way. People are fickle minded. So Women love Men. If the marriage did not turn out well, can she blamed Men? After all you married each other out of love so why do Women want to give up their Men so easily? Unless it has come to a point when one party wants to breakup, if not, both parties can enjoy their moment of ‘unhappiness’ until they find a common ground. Is anyone wrong here? Every couple is unique and have their own reasons, is Women wrong for not walking out? NO, I do not think so. Needing a Man has more to it than SEX.

8) and finally SEX. Hurray! I finally arrive at the word ‘SEX’. Sex is a need. It is a ‘need bug’ that send chemical reaction to your mind and body. Can such Needs be controlled? Yes and No. Actually when I was young, Mum always tells me : ‘Don’t try forbidden fruit’…meaning 'do not enter into SEX until you are married'. Asian’s value but how many of us ‘hear’ and ‘heed’ Mum’s naggings? Some Women at a very young age started this thingy call ‘SEX’. You can call them sluts, loose Women, shameless and all kind of names … so are they wrong? NO, I do not think so. Can you stop hunger? When you are hungry, eat!

We have a good laugh when we came to this part of it. Well, we all agreed… that these are things that you need a Man (normally),

1) Women like Men, need SEX. That is what the anatomy of the bodies is for. Blame it on the Snake in Adam and Eve and the Eden Garden for providing such a conducive environment for such activity.

2) For reproduction. It is needed to make sure that human will not be extinct on the surface of Earth.

3) For experiment – so much is spoken about SEX, so let’s try, won’t die BUT they forget ‘can get pregnant’.

4) Some girl friends boldly expressed that Man is to help them 'distress'. Sex is a form of 'exercise'. Enjoy and loose weight. WoW! I need to loose lots of weight…however this exercise is not for me. Are these Women wrong? NO, of course not. They are adult and should know the consequences. Gone were the days of our grandmothers that such happenings are the fault of Men. There must be willing hands to clap. NO, NO, NO… I am not encouraging ‘anything’, I am stating facts.

5) ‘I love my body’…yup! Some Women love their bodies and they want to show off. Men’s brain is below the belt, it was said. So, these Men and Women will attract. Are these Women wrong? NO, it is their bodies and needing a Man to appreciate their bodies is just to show off.

6) Of course there are Women with SEX in their brain all the time. This is sickness if it is excessive. They need to see a Doctor. Are these Women wrong? NO, of course not. Something is wrong with their system and it is a medical issue. Until they do and acknowledge that they have a medical problem… needing a Man is not wrong!!!

Women need Men for many reasons and SEX is only one part of it!



  1. Lian,

    its seems i am falling into yr first part no. 5.

  2. Hi Alice

    Never regret the decision you have made. You have good times, you have loved. Although now the outcome is not the best, but learn how to let go. It is a lesson learned. Stay positive. Cheers!

  3. 如果世上没男人的话,我们女人就不用穿衣了,多好啊!

  4. 丘妈妈..穿衣和有没有男人没关系, 是世人从N年开始..脑筋已经被污染. :)