Do not speak ill of the Sangha. It is not for lay people to judge. What you see and hear with your senses are influenced by perceptions of others. Don't be self righteous and think you can set the wrong right. There is a season for happening. Let the lesson of Ven. Ananda with Buddha be a constant reminder. Do not split the relationship of the Sangha by speaking bad to one and the other. I bet you cannot afford the price...Cause & Effect. Who is real and who is fake... how do you know? We take vows and think it is a Joke because we never take it seriously. Practice humbly, sincerely and self contained. Remember your vow to liberate Sentient Beings...you are one of them, not only those out there. Your Dharma brothers and sisters are link you have created yourself, save all the discrimination or you will not have met them. Whether it is a good or bad connection we have to understand it is our doings.
Hanging to a wrong already committed cannot be rewind. Constant verbal abuses and bringing up will only hurt and hurting oneself the most. 'Letting go' is a big word but be kind to oneself. I too have hurts applied on me by others and so called 'blood is thicker than water' so I understand your pain. How long are we going to live? To return a karmic debt is painful but fortunately we follow the Buddha so aren't we lucky?
I do not have the wisdom of the Buddha but I always remind my Brother Kelly and Sister Judy of these. I am not rich and I have no wealth to give them BUT I can show them the Teachings of Buddha which will give them liberation and eternal happiness...it is the biggest fortune that money cannot buy. Ohm Mani Padme Hung!
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