BEAUTY…imperfection!

It was said “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder”… this is ever so true. We saw many Imperfect People…but their Hearts are so Perfect. We saw so many Perfect People but their perfectness are but Skin Deep.

So what is Beauty…Beautiful? I have never considered myself anything near to the word Beauty or Beautiful. It is in every girl’s dreams to be a Beauty or Beautiful. Beautiful people always get their ways around, even when they are mean, shallow and scheming. Everyone likes Beauty…their Eyes can only see that far and not beyond. Be it Men or Women…they saw what they want to see.

Cut all the craps about self-esteemed, about confident and being yourself. When you are made to feel and are being compared…what do you think? Especially girls…we are vain and we are born with the right to be Vain. From very young age we know that we have to have a family with background, we have to have brains, we have to have beauty, we have to have love, we have to have all the things we want to have. We know that if we are not a Beauty, we should at least have brain. We set a standard for ourselves. Or is it the cruel world, with all the FAKE expectations and we run after it so that we think by being Perfect, we will not be denied of all the FUN the world can offer.

I am not a Beauty, neither am I ‘brainless’ and my brain may not be as brainy as some. I am as hard working and honest as the person next to me…so what? Where do I go and what do I get? Lucky for me I am a thick-skin. I do not have inferiority-complex. I have friends who ran off to fake everything that she is borne with – even her virginity! FOR? Her self-esteemed? To get what she wants? To get the so called High Society Man who can provide for her Vanity? For LOVE? For Status? For MONEY?

It is the cruel environment we live in. Everyone is so competitive. It is drilled into us that we have to be the best - best in everything. HOW MANY ‘BEST’ CAN THERE BE IN THIS WORLD? It will be nice if everyone is the BEST. So if everyone is the BEST, who is going to be the BEST ‘BEST’…and it goes on!!!!

I have lived in this cruel world long enough to ‘suffer’ all the barbs. I have also learned to accept myself for what I am long ago. Too bad if I am not a Beauty to you, you did not lose anything neither do I. I am not the most outstanding staff you wanted, however I am an honest one – no one will bother to find out BUT I give myself a thumb-up! I am not an easy to get along person, too bad. Blame the environment for making a girl grows needles all over her like a porcupine and she needs it to protect herself and not HARM others.

Given the politics in the working world, what sort of sufferings, belittling, cruel and demeaning outbursts that I have not faced? It could be so bad that you doubt your self-esteem? It hurts and hurts like hell! I got over it and ‘what was said than is history now. HOW can I please everyone? HOW can I make everyone like me? I don’t like everyone too. I only like some because I think they are nice to me. AM I also not categorizing? WHO am I suppose to prove to that everything I do is flawless? Proper? Intelligent?....there is no PERFECT HUMAN BEING! Am I asking a bit too much of myself? WHY do I need to compete with everyone or show everyone that I am GOOD? I never trust reassurance from others, most of the time what is said is never delivered.

If I allowed all the above to fill my LIFE, I will feel that I have wasted my existence in this lifetime. I came here with a purpose. I came to learn many lessons - some happy, some sad, some painful, some joy and all that this Samsara has to offer. IF I let myself go into Depression, Depression is also a lesson I need to learn. WHAT got me into Depression? Am I asking too much of myself? If I have given my best shot, I will not leave to regret. My self worthiness, is that the business of others? There are people who are fond of running people down to make themselves look GREAT. Anyway you ONLY LIVE ONCE… nothing to do with James Bond! As long as you touch your heart, you may not be that GOOD, neither are you that BAD…after all we are just HUMAN. My concept is Always maintain a Good HEART!

Actually this post is for someone dear to me. Instead of looking around at what people said ‘About Me’, what people ‘Think About Me’, what ‘Untruthful Things said about me’ – IT IS THEIR BRAIN, THEIR MOUTH AND THEIR SINS! What has that got to do with me? SNAP! Out of caring too much about what people says. I got my fair share. AT THE END OF THE DAY, I am going to face my Karma….or you would say ‘I have to face GOD'.

Remember, we LOVE you OR probably I should not speak for ‘WE’….AT LEAST, I LOVE YOU! and I know my Fook Kokor too! Do not place your happiness and self worthiness in the hands of others. I SAID this one million and one time on my Blog, to Alice, Appleteas and now to YOU, my dear!

You know what we have gone through as kids? You know how we struggle to be where we are today? You know and hear my stories? You are one of US, and you are definitely NOT WEAK!

I have no chance to go into Depression. I have no time to go into Depression. I have no time even to pity myself, cry for myself (to think about it), I have no time for SELF EGO (I have none as I lived in a borrowed body, there is no ME) and what IF I go into all that? Who is going to look after my parents? If I go MAD, anyone is going to PITY me? SO why must I GO Mad? Who would be hurt if anything happen to me? My Parents and siblings. Not even friends…because as time goes by, what am I to them? They will also forget me and maybe occasionally remember that ‘SILLY’ Me!

LET IT GO!!! I am so sorry that you grew up in an insecure surroundings, BUT me too, you know? If you allow people to BULLY you, they surely will. If you allow people to treat you like a DOORMAT, you invited it. You need not hurt others BUT you can speak up for yourself. If the work environment is not conducive, change. Changes may create some uneasiness, I am facing that too… but WHY let yourself go CRAZY? You have a choice. You still have Dad to fall back on. You can afford to take a break and your family does not need you for bread and butter. Mine do.

The Unique You, have nothing to do with Perfection. Why must you be a perfectionist and act like one for the eyes of others? The greatest men on Earth are/were not perfect…. WHO ARE YOU? Just live any honest existence, fulfill you duty, smell the flowers, touch the tree, smile at the morning dew hanging on a leave waiting to fall onto the ground. Look at the sky, see the ever changing clouds, feel the wind on your face and isn’t that good. Sit around at Malls, along the streets and in the Parks – look at people, look at the children, the young, the old and those on wheelchairs – Do you think they are Perfect? Do you think that they do not have any sufferings? Whether you are Perfect or Imperfect, in the eyes of others, they have their measuring tapes. Can you meet all that? Do you have to meet any for a matter of fact?

I am 100% an IMPERFECT PERSON with so many flaws. As a daughter, as a sister, as a staff, as a friend, as a neighbor, as Buddhist devotee, as a public, as a Global citizen and now a netizen – I laugh at myself and I give myself, very gently a 50% marking ONLY.

So my Dear, your Aunt, so full of her righteousness, so full of zeal, full of anger, full of warm, full of love…never ever think that I need to live up to the expectations of anyone. I probably will put myself through liposuctions to get fats out of my body, re-shaped my face, give myself a high nose, kissable lips, right size boobs…for? Better still if I can change my brain, change my status in society, become the Boss of those who bullied me BUT can I make everyone like me?

YOU ACCEPT ME FOR WHAT I AM! IT is also OK if you do not love me. It is OK if you want to gossips and talk bad about me. It is OK if you doubt my sincerity. It is OK if you doubt my ability…. The most important, I DO NOT DOUBT MYSELF! PLEASE do not doubt yourself.

Hope the message got through to you. It is such a pity that you need to put yourself in the hands of others and went into DEPRESSIONS because of all these unworthy people! If the LIEW blood flows in you, you should from now ON, stand tall! We do not need you to be Mrs President, nor Mrs Prime Minister, nor Ms World, nor some Great names – we do not belong to that league. We just want you to be yourself, have a healthy body and mind, it does not matter what Religion you follow – JUST BE YOU. Do not expect Life to be gentle and kind – BUT you can expect LIFE to teach you a few lessons and when you look back when you are 60s, will you laugh?

Do you know why I GO into all these words here? I just want to tell you that this World is IMPERFECT and IMPERFECTION in the eyes of artists is BEAUTY!

CHOPED, SIGNED, SEALED and DELIVERED…TO PP!

Dumpling Festival....

Very soon it is going to be Dumpling Festival. Every year and weeks before this day, traditionally most Chinese families will prepare all the materials and ingredients getting ready to 'wrap' dumplings. In places where you find Chinese people, you will find people celebrating this event.

This year it falls on the 28th May 2009 or the Lunar 5th day of the 5th Month (五月初五). Chinese families will consume this yummy dumplings to mark the event of a classic hero who safe the country. He threw himself into the river to appease the River Dragon so that it will not cause floods killing both people and crops. His name is Qu Yuan. All the people got together to create dumplings and threw them into the river. The purpose is to distract the Dragon's attention into eating the dumplings and not Qu Yuan. Another activity is the Dragon Boat Race. The boat is paddled by 20 persons, 10 on each side and a drummer sitting in the front. In ancient time the Dragon Boat was used to chase away the dragon.

Today, nobody is throwing dumplings into the river any more. They are 'throwing' these dumplings into their stomach. This dumpling is made from sticky rice filled with mushrooms, chestnuts, peanuts, salted egg yolks, roasted pork, red beans etc. Different dialects have their own way of filling this dumpling with their own 'goodies'. The shapes of the dumplings come in a triangle form or a pyramid form and in different sizes. The sweet ones are smaller and the savory ones are larger.

The Chinese Lunar 5th day of the 5th Month is Mum's Birthday. Every year this day, I remember Mum with fondness and love. 'The Dead' do not need to celebrate birthday anymore as their time in this world has expired. However they are gone, the love continues to live on in my heart. So....

"妈妈 - Happy Birthday to you. I know you do not need it any more. I know that we have no celebration anymore but on this day I want to say...In the whole wide world, there is nothing like having Mum.

To kids who have Mum, they are like a precious bundle cradled in Mum's embrace. The happiness of being love by Mum can never be matched with anything in the Universe.

妈 I miss you!!!"

Body Arts ...

I was fascinated with a program I watched on TV about body arts or some call it body paintings. These artists who paint on bodies with such creativity are totally another set of people with a different hobby and passion. There is a different between body painting and tattoo. Body painting is impermanent (or temporary tattoo) while tattoo is painful and once painted, it will take another painful process to erase. However I saw many tattoo their body. Some on their chests, some on their arms, some on their ankle. Body painting design varies. Colors are vibrant and some are good enough to act as an apparels. If you do not pay attention, you probably think that it is the real thing.

Lately the movie Painted Skin is about a ghost painting a beautiful young girl face and apply it on her own scary one. The idea is to tempt the man she loves to love her in return. Therefore I believe body painting has the same effect. It is sexy and appealing to the eye. Mostly such designs are painted over naked body and you have to look at them in the form of art and not otherwise.

I claim no credit for these inspiring pictures as they are taken from various sites for their beautiful illustrations to share with my readers here. Body painting is an ancient art. To think about it, during ancient days where there were no papers, I believe people paint on their bodies, faces and limbs. We can see some of these in Red Indians and African tribes.

Enjoy these pictures and amaze at the painstaking efforts in the creations. I love them...and such a pity to wash them away!

The ring on your finger....

When two people are so in love, the next step they would want is to be together. The proper way is to go through matrimony receiving blessings from everyone. To be official acknowledged as husband and wife is blissful. Some do it in Church followed by Tea Reception and Dinner. Some do it in the Temple kneeling in front of Buddha to pledge their love. Some do it the Muslim way.

Beautiful wedding bands..many girls’ dreams. To find someone who loves us and someone we love is a life time goal to most girls. To Love and To Hold, so holy and binding. Different religion or ethnic group does their vows differently. Below are some of the vows :

The marriage vows….(in front of the Commissioner of Oath)

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

Hindu marriage vows ….

“are known as Saat Phere and consist of 7 verses spoken by the couple as they take a step for each. When after the seventh step the groom says to the bride "With seven steps we have become friends. Let me reach your friendship. Let me not be severed from your friendship. Let your friendship not be severed from me." they are pronounced husband and wife.

Roman Catholic
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, take and wear this ring as sign of my love and faithfulness.

The blissfulness lasted as long as the couple is in love. How many really honor their vows? A friend said ‘Dear Lian, Love dies…and only commitment and responsibility will bind you together. To love and to hold, to give and take, to err and to forgive – through richness and poverty’…time will prove how strong will the ‘bands’ last.

The marriage path is not easy to maintain. When two people growing up from different families and are brought up with different values. What if these values clash? Two different people with different characters come together, what happen? When one party is always the giving one and the other party is ‘I don’t bother type’? When one is sensitive and the other one has ‘low EQ’?

Marriage - marri…and ..age…together is a lesson you will never learn from any books. Not even from the experiences of married people. Every couple is different, their problem is different, their expectation is different, education is different, upbringing is different, and thinking is different….EFFORT and FORGIVING..it is only with these that the vows will see the couple to the ‘tombs’.

I came very close to wearing the ‘Wedding Band’. It is now a souvenir…a reminder that once upon a time someone loves me enough to give me a ‘band’.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not bad mouthing marriage neither am I discouraging it. Below are some happenings to friends....

1) They are facing a marriage breakdown - cannot communicate anymore.
2) Some on the way to divorce.
3) Some – you live your life and I live mine. Meaning husband has husband’s ‘fun’ and wife have wife’s ‘fun’.
4) Some husband and wife slogging like crazy to help make ends meet.
5) Some have husband and ‘boy friend’.
6) Some have wife and ‘girl friend’.
7) Some pretend even though they know their wives are fooling around ‘under their nose’.
8) Some married because they have to. For girls, the ‘biological’ clock is ticking.
9) Some married because mother says must get a wife and produce the lineage.

Wedding Band…put around your finger…and you got stuck there. You become an equipment. You are a child producing machine, you are a desire/ lust letting go machine, you are a washing machine, a vacuum clearer, rice cooker, housemaid, car washer, ATM machine and many more.

Today I am really mad over a friend’s dilemma. We were classmates. I saw her ‘husband’ before they were married and I don’ think very highly of him. Snobbish, arrogant and he thinks he is the smartest and cleverest man around. Phew.w.w.w! Every time my girl friend’s talk, he will run her down. Of course he likes talking to me…I gave him all the barbs! Men…are they sick or what? You are nice to them…they think you got ‘no brain’…when you are ‘tough’, they think you are attractive! Cantonese says ‘Jin Kak’…!

Honey, after signing the papers today…you don’t cry anymore. I cannot tahan you like that. It makes me very ‘pek chek’..and my ‘fire’ all rising. That ex-husband of yours needs a ‘chiak charbo’. I said before you are too good for him.

Girls, when we fall in love can we reserve 30% for keeping? At least you will not be so badly hurt when it's over.

80th Birthday….14.5.2009 (Thursday)

I attended Luang Por Chao Kun Rai’s birthday at Wat Ananda. This is an auspicious occasion to celebrate as not many live to the age of 80th. The sky broke into heavy morning shower. It was a shower of blessings as we made our way to the temple. Many devotees have arrived. There were 400 monks from various schools and each took turn to say prayers for this occasion. I was there when Ven. Gunaratna was reading the Jaya Mangala Sutta. The Mahanyanese group led by Ven Guang Ping and the Varjayana led by a group of Tibetan monks (not sure where they are from).

As devotees milled among all the well known Luang Pors and monks of various status, actually I am not familiar with many of them. However I saw Luang Por HongKim of Bukit Batok and Luangpor ‘Income’ who is from Chiangmai. Some Luang Pors are about 90s and attended this occasion because Chao Kun (as we fondly called him) is the leader in the Thai Theravada School in Singapore. His title is conferred by the Royal Thai King.

I know Ven Chao Kun many years back. It was through a hospice patient Mr Lee. The monk had promised Mr Lee that he would take care of his funeral. We visited Wat Ananda. I was met by a small built, spectacled monk. He is the Abbot of Wat Ananda. My first impression was Oh! he looks like Gandhi. We explained our visit. I have no idea the status of Choa Kun, his busy schedules and yet he is so unassuming and easy going. He is so kind. He took care of Mr Lee’s funeral and expenses. After everything, Ven. Chao Kun took Mr Lee’s ashes with him to Thailand for further prayers and blessings.

Actually Ven. Chao Kun is very high in his status and yet he is so approachable, easy to talk to and give his time when he can to the devotees.

I acknowledge that due to my Karma, I am born a girl this life. Being a girl has many restrictions when it comes to connecting with Monks. I see monks as any other human being and they have all the defilements and temptations that a layman has. The only thing is they have taken the monk’s vows. Many went on to be great masters and some fall along the way. I see no big deal about these. I believe they have great and good connections to be able to shave their ‘heads’. The stumble is a lesson along the way. As a lay person, we are in no position to censor them. I try my best to keep away from Monks and be proper. My respect is to the teaching of Buddha and the Monks represent Buddha. I respect the ROBE they are wearing. Many lay people get too close to Monks and gossips and misunderstandings arise to create schism. To take side and create a discord amongst Monks is a fast train to Hell. That is why I venerate, respect, learn, practice and keep a distance so that I do not misbehave or become rude in both actions and speech of being familiar which usually happened.

Many people said that Theravada is a Small Wheel of Buddha’s Teaching. People who embrace this school of thoughts normally work on themselves and liberate themselves to the state of Arahant. They leave this world with no attachment. But to me, from what I see and what I know of some great Theravada masters, they are Theravada but they perform the Bodhisattvas ways.

Many people misunderstand Buddhism. They think that Buddhism have so many schools. In actual facts all these are just a ‘Path of Convenient’ to suit the temperament of various Sentient Beings. There is only One Buddhism, One Saykamuni Buddha, One Teaching and One Path. No matter what schools you are in – the fundamental of Buddha’s Teaching is something you must know and that is THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTH and THE EIGHTFOLD PATH. All others are ‘vessels’ to ferry you across the Ocean of Samsara.

Coming back to Ven Choa Kun, I was very fortunate to come face to face with him yesterday and have the opportunity to wish him Happy Birthday personally. It is once in a life time to be able to attend an auspicious event of an 80th Birthday of a Monk. I am glad I am able to be a part of it. So my wish for Ven Chao Kun….

“May you live healthy and live long; may you be freed from physical and mental sufferings so that you continue to deliver the Dharma to us. May you have the energy to continue your kindness to all sentient beings. May you fulfill all your wishes and things you wanted to do for Sentient Beings and finally may you attain Enlightenment!”

Sharing some pictures I took during the event. SADHU SADHU SADHU!!!!!

My travel....Maldives

Most of my friends know that I have a job that second me to various destinations around the world. Sometime one year, sometime two..but not more than 3 years. Although I am posting my blog with 'Singapore' as home ground...I am 'here' and 'not here' at times.

Many of my friends have asked me to share one of the slides I did under the name 'Journey'. I actually sent it to a few who loves it. Nothing great actually, just some amateurish photography. These pictures are taken in Maldives...because I worked there at one time.

Maldives is a dream place for holidays. Mostly are European, Japanese, Korean, HongKong Chinese, etc.., some Singaporean. The currency acceptable are US$ and Euro. The capital is Male. Maldives is make up of 3,000 islands or maybe more. Travel is by sea planes or by boats...and the furthest island by boat can take as long as one month.

This is a beautiful country. Religion - Muslim. Race - Maldivian. Skin Color : Dark (they are fairer than Indian, not like Sri Lankan..I find that they have a unique look by themselves). People are nice and simple. The only trade here is tourism... Ha.a.a.a. so by now I have exposed myself...Yes, I am in the service industry.

For those who loves to shop till you drop, Maldives is not the place for you. If you love the Sun, the Sea and the Swim, this is haven. It is a paradise. All those beautiful colorful coral fishes you see on television or National Geographic magazines, they are all at your 'door step'. Really, they are that near to you if you holiday in Maldives. Of course all the activities are water sports. You can snorkel, dive, boating, island hoping...have dinner arrange on a sandbank...just you and your other half. For the rich and famous, they arrive with their private boats.

There are lots of beautiful corals of assorted colors and types. There are big and small fishes of various colors. You see turtles, dolphins, sharks, sting rays, Manta Rays and the extinct fish Napoleon Wrasse (oversize grouper with a hump head). However you are not allowed to go fishing here although fishes are abundance. Let me tell you...the sharks here don't want to eat you...they have more than enough food!

The further you are from the main islands or islands with satellite, you have no signal for TV or handphone. You lost contact with the World. This is what we need - to be away from all the hectic city life. This place is End of the World to me!

Here are photographs that I took with my Casio Camera. I know nothing about lightings and all the gadgets...but I took this myself. Because in my work I travel alone, I took pictures of nature.

Welcome your comment and my pleasure to share....enjoy!

Food Measurement...

Many of us love food. We eat anything cooked differently - blend, spicy, stewed, deep fried etc. The Chinese says : To Human food is bigger than Heaven' - so it means...as long as you are alive you eat!

I have a staff who always fall sick when she eats 'Beef'. She will have very bad headache. I noticed it and I stop her from consuming beef. She is not getting the headache anymore. It is the red meat that shoot up her blood pressure, let alone cholesterol.

Eggs are my first love in any style and I can eat more than 2 eggs a day and everyday for a week. I used to smell 'uric' in my urine. On top of that my heels are very painful. I have cut back and I am not having pain anymore.

Seafood is another type of food that we all love. The seafood haunts in Singapore are filled daily and nightly with people. Prawns, crabs, bamboo clams, mussels, lobsters , sotong/cuttlefish, abalone, pomfret are high in cholesterol. Do you love these?

During break in our meeting, we talked about 'Eating Rice'. There are reports that we should cut down on carbohydrate...so people jumped at it. RICE is carbo, so don't eat rice, eat proteins or vegetables and fruits. For 5,000 years or more, Chinese have been eating Rice...why are we cutting down because some health freak said so? There is a proverb "One man's meat is another man's poison". We have Asian stomach and RICE in Asia is staple food. To be able to 'eat rice' means 'abundance'. So why do we follow the crowd? We just have to be moderate. You can say that I am a rice eater.

Attached a Cholesterol Chart. Those with '0'...you can eat them in quantity. Look at gizzards..they are the highest in cholesterol. Chinese loves to 'use an organ to enhance another organ'. They will eat pig brain to improve the Human brain. We always say someone is 'pig brain'...meaning he is not using his brain..so how smart can consuming Pig Brain makes a person?

Essential Guidelines for Healthy Living
1) Eat a variety of fruits and vegetables which contain vitamins and minerals.
2) Increase the consumption of high fibre foods such as wholemeal bread and cereals.
3) Reduce the consumption of high saturated fat and high cholesterol foods such as fatty meats, coconut milk and cuttlefish etc. On the other alternatives such as fish and lean meats to obtain protein.
4) Be moderate in alcohol consumption and increase water intake to at least 6-8 glasses per day.
5) Reduce sugar intake. Cut down the consumption of high-refined carbohydrate foods e.g cakes, cream biscuits, and reduce the amount of sugar in drinks.
6) Reduce the salt consumption. Avoid table salt and soy sauce.
7) Quit smoking. If you do not smoke, never start.
8) Maintain ideal body weight.
9) Exercise regularly i.e at least 3 times per week. The aerobic exercises like brisk walking, jogging, cycling and swimming will strengthen the cardio-pulmonary system, muscles and joints.
10) For those who are too busy to have proper meals, make sure you have adequate nutrient supplements.
11) Learn to relax in stressful situations and have a positive mind towards all matters.
12) Maintain your routine medical check-up and full blood screening test at least once a year.
13) Daily cholesterol intake should not be more than 300mg.

Here is the Chart for your use and information.

Hope the above chart is useful and give you an idea of measurement each contains. Do not get paranoid over it. Life is short and enjoy at the same time take care of your health.

Cheers!